People on Twitter started using the hashtag #GOPDnD around the same time that the Republicans in Congress were trying to replace the Affordable Care Act with a GOP version that was skimpier in coverage and would have prevented many people from being able to afford health insurance. (I’m summarizing.) The hashtag started in March of 2017.
The purpose of #GOPDnD was to complain about the GOP’s horrible health plan in a creative way. It presents what was happening as though it was part of a Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) campaign.
Later, #GOPDnD was expanded so people could use it to comment on other things the Trump administration was doing. In this blog, I have gathered up the best #GOPDnD tweets that are about the Affordable Care Act, access to health care, or related to those topics.
DM: The orphans are weak and prone to sickness.
GOP: I ban divine magics.
DM: A child coughs up some blood.
GOP: It causes Autism.#GOPDnD
— James@ BHIKKE (SWCO) (@OneShotRPG) March 17, 2017
DM: The fighter takes a big hit from the Ogre's club. Cleric?
Cleric: If I heal him, he'll have no incentive to avoid Ogre attacks. #GOPdnd
— Bryan Arminio (@BryanArminio) March 20, 2017
GOP: The healing potion is 5,000 gold pieces.
PC: But we don't have that much gold.
GOP: No, but you have ACCESS to health potions.#GOPDnD
— Trap Suey (@SClayton891) March 20, 2017
GOP: You were hit for 45 points of damage
Player: I use my potion of healing
GOP: It doesn't work, this is a preexisting condition #GOPdnd
— Kevin Boyd (@Kevin_Boyd_) March 21, 2017
Party: We want to buy healing potions.
GM: Okay, 50g for men, 150g for women.
GM: Women need a scroll from their cleric.
— Tony Beeman (@tinybeeman) March 23, 2017
GOP: First thing we'll do is slay the ACA!
DM: Lord Trump bids you slay the ACA.
GOP: Runaway! Runaway!
DM: Brave Sr Ryan runs away#GOPDnD
— Aaron Donaldson (@apdonaldson) March 25, 2017
GOP: I cast 'Repeal Obamacare.'
(rolls natural 1)
GM: Suffer 392 morale damage.
GOP: I evade, cast 'Blame the Democrats.'
— Calvin Wong (@ithayla) March 25, 2017
DM: The priest casts a healing spell.
GOP: I cast Repeal and Replace.
DM: Replace with what?
GOP: Believe me, it'll be tremendous.#GOPDND
— Jeremy (@caine2000) March 24, 2017
Barbarian: I BLEED!
Cleric: Cure Wounds!
DM: Cure now costs twice to cast & Barb must sacrifice a 500-gold gem or no effect
— Toby Dodgen (@TobyDodgen) March 25, 2017
Group: Cast nullify spell
GM: that will kill off most of the sick and injured in the town
Group: And the women too, right?
— Andyinak (@Andyinak49) March 25, 2017
DM: The Obamacare Dragon steps from the cave.
GOP: I slay it.
*rolls a 3*
DM: A miss.
GOP: I give up.
DM: The dragon saves the town.#GOPDnD
— Douglas Eboch (@dougeboch) March 25, 2017
DM: For this quest you must punish the most wicked of creatures.
PC: Poor villagers?
DM: What? No.
PC: Pregnant villagers?#GOPDnD
— Burf Diddy (@FerdBurfel) March 26, 2017
— Martha (@marthamatical) March 25, 2017
DM: After failing to kill the village healer, you're attacked by peasants.
PC: But I told them that I'd get them a new one someday! #GOPDnD
— Trent Milam (@nomore_45) March 26, 2017
DM: You see the Clerics For Women
GOP: Burn them! They perform evil!
DM: Roll to detect evil.
GOP: BURN THEM ANYWAY!#GOPDND
— moose j finklestein (@mizmoose) March 26, 2017
DM: most people in your party are injured
GOPCleric: Who's the richest?
DM: The uninjured thief.
GopCleric: I heal the thief.#GOPDnD
— Scott Milne (@LostArcNZ) March 26, 2017
— Econ Pvper (@Anhrez) March 26, 2017
DM: Your party finds the nation's health potions.
Bard: I roll intimidation to decide what we do.
DM: Your party walks away.#GOPDnD
— The Minnesota Wolf (@snowsongwolf) March 26, 2017
Dems: My female elf mage needs a healing potion
GOP: My male human fighter needs boner pills
DM: Here ya go#GOPdnd
— Adam Rakunas (@rakdaddy) March 27, 2017
Fighter: Cleric, help! I need healing!
GOP Cleric: You could pay for your own healing if you didn't buy that horn of calling.
— Dan Reeser (@sowkrdan) March 27, 2017
GOP: I promise the villagers they'll all get better healing for less gold
DM:They cheer. How do you propose to do that?
— Mark Wilson (@mwilsonin) March 27, 2017
GOP: We threaten their cleric.
DM: The townsfolk are irate.
GOP: Ok, we give their gold to their lords!
DM: Torches, pitchforks.#GOPDnD
— Aaron Donaldson (@apdonaldson) March 27, 2017
DM: You see an ACA gazebo.
GOP: We shoot it.
GOP: What happened?
DM: Nothing, you had no effect.
GOP: It'll fall eventually.#GOPDnD
— Nick (@Neutral_Good) March 27, 2017
DM: You hobbit guide is hit by an arrow and asks for healing
GOP: Pre-existing condition. Helping would only encourage orc archers#GOPDnD
— David_Patterson (@David_Patterson) March 27, 2017
DM: The Affordable Cleric Act makes it easy to find one to resurrect your partymate
PC:Make him reroll so I don't have to pay for it #GOPDnD
— Lydia Neon (@LifeInNeon) March 27, 2017
DM: Replace Fails
GOP: Dammit. Cast 2% tax for the 1%.
GOP: I’ll roll a 20.
DM: That’s what you said with Replace.#gopdnd
— Catalina Feloneous® (@feloneouscat) March 27, 2017
DM: You take the kingdom from the elves.
GOP: Cast Repeal Elfcare.
DM: You roll a 1.
GOP: Blame the elves.#gopdnd
— Sean Monaghan (@tcscreamer) March 28, 2017
DM: Villagers are sick
TRUMP: We have the best plan
DM: Whats your plan?
TRUMP: We have the best people with the best plan, OK?#GOPDnD
— Brian Rose (@BrushFireRose) March 28, 2017
— Nik (@HitPauseButton) March 28, 2017
DM After 7 years you see Obamacare on a cliff.
DT I charge and shove it off!
*rolls a 1*
DM You awkwardly caress Obamacare.
— Russell Grant (@DangitRuss) March 28, 2017
DM: You killed the witch. You find a remedy that can lift the village paralysis curse.
Party: Cool. Next campaign.#GOPDnD
— John Spencer (@Vertigoe) March 30, 2017
DM: So you're not going to save the village from a paralysis curse?
Party: If they really deserved a cure, they'd get it themselves.#GOPDnD
— John Spencer (@Vertigoe) March 30, 2017
GOP: I cast Wish
DM: What do you wish for?
GOP: Lower healthcare premiums
Public Option: You summoned?
GOP: Oh, Nevermind
— Jimmy Cool (@Jimmy_Cool) March 30, 2017
GOP: So how do I cast a healing spell?
DM: You've had 7 turns to look it up
GOP: Nobody knew health casts could be so complicated#GOPDnD
— TK Kim (바보) (@ThoseTwoLetters) March 31, 2017
— Selena Marie Wilson (@SelenaMarieWil3) March 31, 2017
DM: "The town is sick."
GOP: "I cast Tax Breaks."
DM: "That's not a healing spell."
GOP: "But now they can afford potions." #GOPDnD
— Brendan (@brentweeted) March 30, 2017
— Donatello, Esq. (@DonatelloEsq) March 30, 2017
PC Mage: I cast heal on our Fighter
GOP Mage: I cast counterspell to block it.
PC Mage: The hell for?!
GOP Mage: Lvl. 99 PC's only.#GOPDnD
— Devin Higgins (@DevinHiggins) April 1, 2017
DM: Heroes! An evil lord is stopping the fair damsel from seeing a healer!
GOP: Yes. That's how we saved 150 billion gold pieces.#GOPDnD
— Don Sowell (@_Diamond_Jim_) March 31, 2017
DM: Villagers are embracing ObamaCare dragon
GOP: Cast demon fireball
DM: This will kill villagers
GOP: Cast demon fire ball#GOPDnD
— AllWeNeedIsLove (@scott2824) April 4, 2017
DM: Village cleric says she can cure the effects of mind flayers on children for a copper per year
PC: You have no right to my gold#GOPDnD
— Jon Paradise (@jp_in_nj) April 5, 2017
DM: The villager staggers forward, he needs a Healing Potion.
GOP: The potion is bad.We’ll make something better.
DM: And he’s dead.#GOPDnD
— DHIrving (@SisterToTheFae) April 5, 2017